Science! Research! Strictly Genteel! Yes! Finally! We now get solution to a long unsolved problem: indefatigable work of some curious minds gave us the answer: who is the Man on the Turin shroud? Hey!
"St. Alphonso would be proud of me!" Amen.
(One note: I don't speak spanish - I translated this tiny article by this very online translating machine for you... heh-heh. Have fun!)
The Man of the Síndone is Frank Zappa
By Juan C. Voltereta
(See the original text here - my hungarian version here)
From century XIII many have been the questions that have been made with respect to the famous Sheet Santa of Turin, the presumed picture of whole body of Jesus Christ. At the end of eighty official science attempt one maneuvers desperada to deny the reality of the Síndone, but the true cinetificos continued the investigations. Fruit of it is the report recently published by an equipment to multidiscipline of the University of Graceland, in Menphis, that faces us a reality for which many do not estan prepared: the man represented in the Sindone is not Jesus Christ, but the rocker Frank Zappa.
Thus he is. According to rigorous analyses of comparison using metodo of anatomia cuantica developed by the Graceland group, the similarity between the Man of the Sindone and Zappa is of 99,7%, but alla of hoped po to hazar much. In fact, he is surprising that until hour nobody has realized, since as we reflected in imagenes of down the similarity is equal.
But how it is possible that an image of century XIII represents a man of century XX at least? Some theologians as Pinhead father of the Order of the Cenobites and student of sacred books think that the answer is very clear: the Sindone was a prophecy: in famous the Second Coming of the Gentleman This it would be reincarnated like Frank Zappa. And if this affirmation produces excalofríos, we review the irrefrutables tests:
In century XX, to go to the masses, it is clear that the average one better is music, and if rock is better still, because arrives at all jovenes. Therefore, the rock is the best way to spread a Message to all the Humanity.
- Jesus died to the 33 years, and Zappa to the 53. This is logical if we thought that as decia the Bible "one hundred years is one hundred day for", asi then Zappa murio with 20 years but that Jesus, which represents the 20 centuries that have passed between Coming and Coming.
- Jesus was the Son of Padre and Zappa in principle sang with the "Mothers of Invention", that translated is "Mothers of the Invention", osea the Mother of the Creation. Parallelism is inegable.
- Zappa little was understood in life and single now its legacy is appraised. Little but it is necessary to say.
To the understanding of each one it is to know if we have returned to attend a transcendental fact and must put to zero our clocks from 1940, but the investigations of all these wise people seem to offer a irrefrutable test.
